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Divorcing Someone With Borderline Personality Disorder

Going through a divorce with someone with a borderline personality disorder can result in high-conflict situations, resulting in a lengthy case that can take a mental toll on everyone involved. For example, your ex-partner might accuse you of something you haven’t done, making it difficult to prove to the court that you are the innocent party. Learn more about divorce cases that involve someone with borderline personality disorder and the importance of working with an experienced, reputable divorce attorney.

What Is Borderline Personality Disorder?

According to the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services, borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a mental health condition that triggers long-term patterns of turbulent and unstable emotions in a person. These patterns can cause excessive and careless behaviors and unhealthy relationships with other people. Symptoms of BPD include feelings of abandonment and boredom, an inability to be alone, displays of anger, and self-harm. BPD should only be diagnosed by a mental professional.

There are various treatments for BPD, including individual and group therapy. Medications can sometimes alleviate the symptoms of this condition and treat other associated disorders, such as depression.

What’s It Like to Divorce Someone With BPD?

If your ex-partner has borderline personality disorder, going through a divorce can be even more stressful than it normally is. That’s because your partner might act impulsively and make your life difficult. They might be unwilling to cooperate in divorce proceedings or refuse to negotiate or reach an agreement, meaning your case takes longer to complete. Lengthy, expensive litigation can take months to resolve, impacting the mental health of everyone involved.

However difficult it sounds, it’s important not to retaliate or lash out at your ex-partner if they are unwilling to work with you on your divorce case. Even if they accuse you of wrongdoing or spread misinformation, seeking revenge might worsen their behavior and cause the judge in your trial to look unfavorably at you (if your case gets to that stage). Remember that BPD is a serious mental health condition that requires professional help. Try to keep calm and encourage your ex-partner to seek the professional help they need.

Divorcing someone with BPD can be even more complicated when children are involved. Your ex-partner might claim you are incapable of looking after your family, forcing the court to issue a child custody arrangement in their favor. Reversing a court order can be an extremely long process that can have a detrimental impact on your life.

Tips for Divorcing Someone With BPD

You might want to reason with your ex-partner in the early stages of your divorce. However, if they are unwilling to negotiate or even hear your opinions, it’s time to move on. Continuing to communicate with someone determined to make your life miserable will only delay the outcome of your case. Instead, consult with an experienced divorce lawyer in Connecticut who can help you resolve your situation and let you get on with your life.

Your attorney might advise that you keep your case outside of the court in most circumstances. That can prevent your ex-partner from telling the judge lies during a trial hearing. If your ex-partner convinces a judge that you are a bad person, you might receive an unfair judgment. Instead, you can try alternatives to litigation, such as mediation and collaborative law. In both of these scenarios, you and your ex-partner will discuss issues about your divorce through attorneys. Even if communication has completely broken down, you can exchange information via these independent third parties. No judges are involved in mediation, collaborative law, and other interventions, reducing the risk of a negative judgment.

With almost 23 years of experience as an attorney, Rich Rochlin can help you navigate the legal system and resolve conflict when divorcing a partner with BPD. Rochlin’s law firm understands that every divorce is different and will provide the support and resources you need to settle a case with someone who has a mental health condition.

Final Word

Divorcing someone with borderline personality disorder can be challenging, especially when children are involved. If you have tried reasoning with your ex-partner, it’s a good idea to consult with a reputable family law attorney in Connecticut and try settling out of court through mediation, collaborative law, or another type of intervention. That can prevent your ex-partner from appearing in front of a judge and acting impulsively.

Are you divorcing someone with BPD? Rich Rochlin can help! This family divorce law firm can help you resolve problems and fight in your corner in a complicated divorce case. Call (860) 357-9158 to learn more! 

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We are able to keenly understand the dynamics, perspectives, and values at the core of every matter.

We approach each new case with an empathetic client and family-focus, which is largely influenced by Rich’s cherished role as husband and father. Rich’s family values are inextricably intertwined with our practice and approach to resolving family disputes. 

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